Boo Hiss

To this ongoing cold. I tried to get an appointment with the doc but he's busy until "later in the week" and I could't be bothered thinking that far ahead. I had tickets to a Botticelli doco this morning, but decided to stay home. I'm not sick-sick, just feeling like if I behaved just one more day I can kick this thing. And it's been a week.

We've had a beautifully crisp, frosty, sunny week, just the weather I love to go outside, and most weeds slip out from the moister soil. I've been weighing going outside for a few hours to disinfect myself, or to stay inside and tidy up loose ends, of which there are many. I predict I'll stay in another day because in the five minutes I checked the hellebores I planted a month (???) ago, I started coughing and today being a quiet day, it echoed throughout our little neighborhood. And it wasn't nice.

In between all the yuck and blah, I've been knitting. I think I'll finish Mom's scarf today. Because I'm using three yarns directly off cones, I pull five to ten meters at a time and drop them on the carpet so they don't tangle. I saw one cone was nearly finished last night, and when I got enough unwound to finish that cone, these folks turned up. 

Everybody is lining up to be included in Mom's scarf; their chatter is bubbly and infectious. It'd be nice if the scarf could alleviate some moments of loneliness in her solo life. The crochet needle shows where I untended as the halfway point; I think I have just enough.

On paper, I hadn't done much outside the "daily" abstract drawing, but Tess wanted to do another swap, and in the course of setting parameters, I started pondering a pet subject: textile as skin, clothes as symbols. It's a vast subject, because Tess goes really deep into research and consideration, while I reflect more as I work with the material, this is going to be a thrilling ride.

In most areas of making, I see myself as a perpetual beginner with a clean slate. Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to remember I had a few things I can look at if I want to reflect on the human body; the few drawings I kept from life drawing lessons of yore, the six frames from Go Figure, and a couple of Letter Journals I swapped with Tess; all LJs are also helpful reminding me of techniques. I love this meandering stage of making. I get severe FOMO as I start to focus, completely necessary and satisfying in a different way, but I am greedy.

As regards weaving, I've lost a... vision??? for now. I know what projects I have on the looms, what come next, etc., but I've momentarily lapsed into the familiar Is-it-better-to-keep-weaving-or-count-the-losses-and-quit mode. It's not as depressing as it sounds; more like the mild exasperation one feels after watching a few videos of reckless people doing potentially dangerous stunts. Do you know the feeling? I may be just feeling sorry for myself.