2010/10/03

September Issues

A lot of what I learned, saw, thought, read and somehow remember in September should have been examined in more depth. A lot of the ideas were worthy of the scrutiny and reflection. I don't remember much, and I want to move on, but I hope some of it will come back to me in weeks or in years.

The issue that continues to stumps me is who I am, where my aesthetics and dogma come from, and how I see my personality and "default" behavior/penchant/reactions. I don't like the notion that this unknowing may go on for a while; it would be nice to come to understand where I'm at at certain significant junctions and be able to regroup myself. Alternatively, I can live with being too busy weaving and not having time to think about it.

I sought advice from those I trust in the days following the workshop, and received conflicting views. In the past few years I tended to choose paths opposite to what I would have chosen myself, to open new avenues, to try new things, to meet new people. Some have worked and some failed; when they failed, I could recall the foreboding I felt before I made my mind.

Whether taking the Wada workshop was good or bad, or right or wrong, for me will remain a mystery, if ever taking a workshop can be "wrong/bad" for me. One thing I was reminded is I have a fairly good grasp of what I like and instincts for what should or shouldn't do, and "trying new things" that goes against my instincts hasn't worked all that well. This is not to say I'm closing myself to serendipity, but I should feel OK about not choosing certain things.

Once again, from the left field, I was recommended The Highly Sensitive Person from a reliable source, and it should be in the post from a bookseller. I'm hoping this will also help me in selecting my paths in the next little while.

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