Funny Feeling / The Purpose of an Exhibit(ion)

I just finished the last piece. It needs to be fringed in the gallery tomorrow, and washed and pressed at home, but on Tuesday it can be hung like the others.

I had a strange realization as I worked the last two hours of the "preparation" phase. I was weaving slowly and at first I thought I was just being careful, but it was more than that. I didn't want the preparation phase to end. And that also seems to be why I didn't work efficiently this last week. I did have nine days to weave and finish one piece, and though I did struggle to design this particular one, I was slowing down the pace more than necessary, while my "evil twin" was savoring the moments. Is this a usual part of the creative process? I've never heard anything like this!

At the same time, I am starting to dread showing my work. I can only remember the horrible things about the pieces, (it didn't help that the photographs I took today were kind of horrible, too), and I was thinking up all kinds of excuses why they were the way they were, rehearsing what I am going to say so at least I sound like I know what I am talking about. I was already regretting the quality of the work that is being shown.

I definitely need to improve the technical aspects of weaving this year, I know this. But there's more.

I use words to aid my designs; I collect words to describe the outcome of the design at hand. And I often include words like elegant, exquisite, delicate and , ahem, slinky. Somehow, Nelson's summer sea and the sand and the clouds didn't end up in designs that I would describe thus. Meaning, I don't feel my very first exhibit(ion) represents the best work I can do, and perhaps the best work I do don't render to exhibit(ion)s because they are not striking looking.

Oh, I think I need a good night's sleep, and maybe another Exhit(ion) in a couple of years. But we won't tell Ben just yet; he's asleep on the couch.